you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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