Non-Jews are for practice
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
