ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
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Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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