Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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