when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She's JV to your varsity
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize