he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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