No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
