No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
