her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
