Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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