Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
