Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
