we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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