you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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