I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm getting married
To pizza
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
