apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
