Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
