It was confusing and full of hummus
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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