I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
