U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
