We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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