seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
