even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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