Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
