I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
