I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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