Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
