Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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