From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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