At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
