this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize