i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
