lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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