their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
