They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
