I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
