Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
