So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize