You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
