dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
