wrigley field is MILF paradise
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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