Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
