So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
