she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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