So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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