So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
People in love make me want to vomit
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
