we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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