So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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