Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
