I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
