I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
