I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
