it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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