Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
