I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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