You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
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Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
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I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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