Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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