what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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