I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
