My boss' voice literally gives me gas
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize